I’ve had my head down writing since early doors and by six o’clock this evening, the last thing I felt like doing, was sitting down to write my blog. After all, it’s just been another normal day in paradise, or rural Essex as it’s known round here. What is there possibly to write about?

I started to think about a few of the things I’d seen in the news at luncthime and on social media as a I cast the odd glance in the direction of Twitter from time to time .

Sometimes you see a name like Judi Dench trending and start panicking. ‘Oh no, please not – she can’t have’, only to find out that she’s been nominated for an Oscar for her role in the film, Belfast.

A couple of other trends have caught my eye over the past few days. One was ‘Kirstie Allsopp’. I had to take a quick look at why she was trending, yesterday. For those who don’t know Kirstie, she is a TV presenter who fronts property shows with such names as Location, Location, Location and Relocation, Relocation, Relocation (yes, really). Well she’s caused a bit of a furore by suggesting that young people could probably afford to buy a property if they cut out their Netflix subscriptions and Gym memberships. I think there was a bit more to her argument, but that’s the gist of it.

It didn’t go down well amongst the Twitterati or much of the press, for that matter, and in part that was due to Kirstie coming from a background that some might say was a tad privileged (her father’s a Baron). “So what?”, you might say. Well we oiks don’t take kindly to being told how we could do much better for ourselves, by someone who started life on a much higher rung of the ladder than the rest of us.

I had a peep on Twitter this morning and the battle was still raging. Apparently Piers Morgan had started on Kirstie and she called him a bully and …. oh enough, enough.

I then saw another hashtag that caught my eye. #KurtZouma. I knew Zouma as a premier league footballer who plays for West Ham, but the reason his name caught my eye was because, well, he’s a pretty average footballer. So, I guessed he’d been a naughty lad and I thought, I’d check out what the fuss was about.

Oh, my!

It ‘s alleged that Mr Zouma decided to kick his cat across the room and then he slapped it. The Daily Express reported that:

“Zouma was captured dropping and kicking, chasing, slapping and throwing a pair of designer shoes at the terrified feline in his £2million mansion.” There is so much wrong with all of those those words.

Anyway how do we know about Mr Zouma’s indiscretions? Well it seems the whole sickening episode was videoed and posted on Snapchat, supposedly by his brother.

The headlines on Sky Sports News this evening were that Zouma had been picked to play for West Ham tonight. He has apologised profusely and said that both family cats are fine. Apparently, “they are loved and cherished by all the family.” That’s ok, then.

West Ham will deal with the matter internally.

I mused on all this, as I threw a few tennis balls around in the garden for the dogs to chase, in the dark.

Then I remembered something else, I’d seen on the news today. A chap called Jacob Rees Mogg, a throwback to the 1700s has been given a new role in the re-shuffled Cabinet, by Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

Mogg is to be the Minister for Brexit Opportunities.

Just another normal day? Aye, I suppose so. In England. In 2022.